Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
