break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
