just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
