My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
