I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
