There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
tell me about the eggs
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