I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
