Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
