Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
