fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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