He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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