We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
