I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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