If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
