Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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