Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
