so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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