That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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