Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
