I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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