And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
