Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
