Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
