After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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