NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
