ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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