No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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