can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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