nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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