2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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