hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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