i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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