Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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