I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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