soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
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i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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