I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
