He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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