dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
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That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
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As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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