I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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