erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
