she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You are the jesus of drinking
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
