u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize