i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
