All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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