in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
