I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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