If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
