I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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