so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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