I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
