some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
