youre lurking in front of me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
