I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
