she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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