this beer tastes like vomit already
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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