So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
