with your own penis?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
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