North Korea, Best Korea!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
