I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
