so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize