She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
A bitchslap is in order.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
