We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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