NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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