we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
