He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
