porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
