Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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