She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
