My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
