She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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