A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
