that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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