there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
